Submitted by Tsuga
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I have been to the mountaintop, and I have seen The Thesis.
When vitalpresence called it a "wentgasm x3000," she may have been understating things a bit. It definitely and for all time puts to rest any question of whether WM really is smart. I would go so far as to say that he could have been admitted to a Ph.D. program with such a thesis. (That's right, all you college-age Prettyphiles: WM could have been your English lit professor.) To those of you who are planning to partake, I issue the following warning: Hold on to your ovaries, ladies, it's going to be a bumpy read. At an age when most fellows with his looks would have been deflowering first-years and not calling them the next day, WM appears to have been a feminist. He doesn't cite any theorists, and the writing is occasionally repetitive, but his research is thorough and well-integrated, and his analysis is incisive. Wide Sargasso Sea is the keystone text, as he's writing about the nexus of the Gothic and the colonial. Well done, sir.
I am pleased to report that I have recovered from my initial tremors upon commencing reading. For your entertainment and edification, however, I present the following little drama, representative of my feelings after reading the introduction.
ACT I: SCENE 1
Lights. WM enters stage right, wearing whatever the heck he pleases and bearing a copy of The Thesis. Tsuga enters stage left, with stringy hair and wearing sackcloth. She is Everywoman.
WM: Hello.
Tsuga: I think I just ovulated a little.
Commits seppuku.
Curtain.
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