Submitted by deadbeatnymph
The Set-up
I was living with roommates when Prison Break started. There were five of us and one TV, which only had one and a half channels. At that time, I was involved in a long-distance relationship, and spent hours almost every evening on the computer and/or on the phone. I knew about PB from the start, and was intrigued, but the situation being what it was - and PB airing on the half channel - I didn't get to see that many episodes near the beginning.
The Beginning
I had seen it a bit, and I liked it a lot. And I liked the boy in it, yes I did. But that's hardly an oddity. Just as I was getting better acquainted with the show and fully hooked, it friggin' disappeared. Woe was me! I wasn't on the trolley with the internetty things, so I didn't know about the mid-season hiatus. I became frustrated as the weeks went by without any new episodes. And so I went a-hunting...
The Rise
I googled and discovered TWoP and Live Journal, and from those I found The Church whose quotes and resources provided the basis for my rising admiration. The more I learned about him, the further I sunk into the waters of worship. It wasn't even just worship, to tell the truth. There was something familiar about him - he was the first Hollywood type that I'd encountered who seemed like an "us" and not a "them." I could imagine myself having conversations with him, hanging out with him like he was another of my friends. He fit. Which is not to say that he wasn't intriguing or mysterious - he was those things more than any other, but not alien.
The Hit
While I was falling into him, my friend from faraway asked me what new shows I was watching. I told her, "Just this one show called Prison Break." She said, "Ohmygod! You have to find a way for me to see those episodes! My husband's in that show!" Apparently, she was one of the four people to have seen The Human Stain when it first came out in the theatre. I laughed and promised her I would. I searched and found downloads, and I sent them to her and of course, I watched them myself. I got the most recent episodes first, and then through begging I managed to get the earlier episodes.
The pilot was actually maybe the 8th or 9th episode that I saw, and although I already knew that I adored him, there it was: Something began when he was behind bars in his cell with Sucre the first time (the "Prisneyland" scene) that culminated during the first scene with Dr. Sara. I was struck by an overwhelming sensation of beauty. It took a moment for it to materialize into the concrete thought that, motherfuck, that was the most beautiful person I had ever seen in my entire life!
It wasn't a sexual thing, it wasn't even gendered - I saw in an instant the most beautiful human being I had ever seen. (And I'm not immune to the allure of a lovely girl, so there's not even a bias there.) And I don't even think it was an entirely physical thing, in the sense of basic phenotype. It went beyond that. His face, his eyes, their expression, his limbs and their elegance, his voice - I don't know. He just exuded that thing he's got, that essence (in the original meaning), and I was struck. That thing, it just reached out through the screen and broke through my ribcage and grasped my heart and yanked. And it's never let go, and sometimes it still squeezes harder.
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